I've never been "friends first" with a boy, though the concept is quite fascinating. Many experts advise that couples should be friends first.
Imagine you meet someone that you're not attracted to. Then the relationship is based on personal compatibility, not just sexual chemistry. Grace Cornish avers that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed: "You're always kind to your friend. There's no respect if you become possessive and controlling." "If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not so a person can marry you.
The reality is that when friends become lovers the shift in their emotions is usually gradual.
In fact, it's so subtle they don't even notice it's happening until the moment a kindly hug becomes loaded with intention.
Jealousy and possessiveness occur in all relationships- including friendships.
I've been envious of new friends that supplant old friendships.
All the time you're being friends, you're learning about each other.I also have friends who don't share their different friend circles, for fear of social miscegenation.Also, everyone has had or been a "bad friend" at some point in their lives, right?Then later, as some times goes by, suddenly, you begin to notice all these fantastic qualities about them that you didn't know existed, and boom! You're looking for your friend to get ahead by looking out for his best interest. Some people are on their best behavior until they cross the threshold. But your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first.When you're true friends from the beginning, you don't have to pretend." I don't disagree with anything Cornish says, but why does she make it seem like honesty, kindness and respect are only inherent in friendships, not in romance?He'd even sit with her in the pub and have a couple of warm-up drinks while she waited for a new date to arrive. 'On that day of the wedding, when everyone around me was saying how lovely he was, I suddenly thought they were right.She described him to other friends as 'not very exciting'. It was like an epiphany.' Most psychologists would say that was unusual.After polishing off half of a large pizza for dinner the night before, I felt downright disgusting. Pledge that you will look in the mirror and find the unique beauty in you.” “The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the storyline that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face.I scowled at my dresses for being too tight and unforgiving, before squeezing on some boyfriend jeans in defeat. We look at ourselves in the bathroom mirror and become so distressed by what we see, we consider skipping school or calling out of work so we can stay home in the safety of our comforters and sweatpants. Everyone has felt unhappy with their looks at one point or another, even the celebrities we think of as flawless. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step towards transforming your experience of the world.”“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me.Nicole Scherzinger If I'm with a man, is that going to prevent me from achieving my goal? I think they're incredibly fascinating studies in human psychology.What sacrifices will I have to make in terms of being myself, if I'm with a man? When you sit down across from someone on a first date and things are going alright, you talk objectives.